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Let's take a look at maturity? Might help?

We All Need A Champion

This might seem an odd topic for a lawyer's blog?

Am I trying to be "philosophic"?  Religious?  Pompous?

With 39 years in practicing law and thinking I have seen everything (which I am reminded daily, I haven't), there are some background ideas that have welled up, which I think control EVERYTHING in law and in working with other persons, whether it be in a divorce, a business transaction, lawsuit, you name it.

And that is the subject of maturity.

Maybe it would be better to call it attitude?

Maybe ego?

But here's what I tell my clients when we are going into whatever zone, to deal with whatever problem or task:

Don't use YOUR brain to figure out what's going on...

Use THEIR brain.

Once I thought everything was sort of about "psychiatry."

But what about genetics?  Chromosomes?

Organism.  Are we just organisms?

Lots of organs in us and in the other person.  Some working fine; some not so fine.

Including the brain. 

Working fine or not so fine.

And the "evolution" over life, in "growing up" isn't always upward to better; it can be downward to not so great, just this moment.

Anger.  Fear.  Anxiety.  Uncertainty.  Hope.  Impatience.  Desire.  Hungary?


So here's what I say -- does the cat ask the mouse if it would be convenient?

I want what I want -- and I want it now.

That's the cat.

Or us?

Or a kid, a child.

This can be the operative principle in working with others.  They want something and they really don't care all that much what YOU want, not all that much.


Could it be better than that?  Is there a higher ground we could find or reach for?

Here's that Dale Carnegie 1936 saying: "if you want someone to listen to you, you had better talk about THEM."  (Their interests; what they get out of it.)

Good enough but does that get you to where you need or want to go, reach your objective(s) in any life interaction, including in a divorce?

The range has to be incremental and changing but you can inspire or locate, even for an instant, that level of upward, greater "maturity," in which the other person actually is thinking about YOU, thinking about others as having an equal right as you have or want.

Wouldn't that be interesting, just as a back of the head thought?



It was yesterday, just yesterday, I encountered a person who told me about taking it even higher than that. 

I had to stop and wonder, after hearing them.

They said that when they went with a non-religious group to Haiti to help with dental facilities and care, they were NOT scared for themselves, even though they had seen a couple of people, at different times, get kidnapped in the airport.



Would YOU go back?  (I have landed in a plane a couple of time in Haiti and felt, I have to say honestly, a good deal nervious as the "authorities" went though EVERYTHING I had onboard.  EVERYTHING.  (There was definately the feeling that it might have been a good idea if they, maybe got something from the stuff I have in my cases?)  A little gift?  Should I offer?

That might be, I admit, just me being not so very nice about the whole thing. 

I am just saying.

So this person yesterday said to me -- "you know, I really don't worry about myself, when I am doing this work.  I think about what I am doing there, why I came there, what we were doing for others.  I put them first."


There's a novel way to reach or process the way toward the conclusion of a dispute...

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