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Resolving and Settling your Divorce Proceeding

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In many ways the resolution of custody, child support, even spousal support (alimony), is, of the emotional and worrisome, complicated issues in divorce, perhaps also the "easiest" for a lawyer to address and accomplish? 

Obviously individual facts bear heavily upon how these matters resolve, even if software exists and is to be used to calculate child suport and, less mandatorily, spousal support.

What I am speaking about in this writing is the "monopoly" game, as I ruefully or wistfully call it, of accomplishing a division of personal property and other, usually more valuable assets of the couple.

The concepts of "separte property," being that which was brought to the marriage by one party and TRULY not used in furtherance of the marital life and living (not always so easily determined), stays separate in your column.  Same with inheritances, but, again, not often so easy to determine whether any of that got inter-related with living expenses and the life of the couple.  But it's separate if you lock it away in an account and don't use it for anything having to do with your marriage. 

Try that! 

Not so easy.

Marital property is what is divideed and supposidly in a "fair and equitable" manner.  These words sound nice and now sit down and get a good, comfortable seat to enjoy the fun that might be your entertainment in reaching this outcome?

I actually want to address the attitudes that help keep your lid on, let you somewhat sleep, maybe get the thing over with a bit sooner than if the lips curl back and long canine teeth show menacingly.

It is my general plan to treat everyone with respect. 

Now this can get not that routine when the other side is taking big bites out of the sandwich.

Sometimes I say everything I know I learned from Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

The funny thing is that there is truth in that; oddly enough I lived for a period of time working in Washington, D.C. and lived in a giant apartment house across from the National Zoo (another story) in which FDR's actual secretary lived.  My Congressman managed an introduction and I sat for thereafter hours with her, drinking beer (yes) and discussing her Boss.  My parents even got an out-of-print copy of her book: FDR: My Boss, had is autographed (in which she noted I would be, in her view, an excellent journalist???).


Pardon me, anyway, but the point of this is that FDR was nice to people who didn't like him and he very definately knew they didn't. 

At all. 

Still he managed with premeditation not to send fire out his mouth, but instead invited them over to "The House" for cocktail hour drinks. 

Didn't matter what political party.  Didn't matter their votes or political ideas.  They got together and talked about family, issues in their lives and generally became, if not "friends," certainly persons who understood each other, whatever differences.

Might I say, that is the way to do your divorce --

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