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Fears of the future and Money Worries in Divorce

We All Need A Champion


Hoping properly to obey copyright laws, might I quote a section from Donna Leon's book, Willful Behavior (she's a mystery writer from Venice; written 25 or more books):

... I just can't understand how people can do some of the things they do

in order to get money...

Or, if you'll let me say this, how some women can stay married to horrible

men simply because they have money.

Of course this doesn't have to be about women; it could just as well be about men staying with women?

Or any of us staying with whomever when we have had the feeling (sometimes since the beginning of the marriage, even the day after?), that the pairing was not such a great plan.

Fear in the saddle riding mankind (changing Emerson's comment about "things" in the saddle).

None of us has been free of our own doubts about surviving or our ability to move forward in our lives after making a huge change, like divorcing a partner. Of course that should be a huge decision, nothing to be taken lightly.

But the reality often is that were you to ask any family member or real, true-blue friend about what we ought to be doing with this partner, the answer coming back (and we know it will be coming back), is you've got to do something, say something, take real action, maybe divorce that person.

It would be nice if this situation never developed but it does. Take a look at the statistics.

If you were counting the number of persons that separated that had not gotten married in the first place, it wouldn't be a 50-50 split; it would be a great deal larger a Brexit vote, out.

I often tell clients I wish I could invent some kind of fluoroscope machine that looked into the storms and cyclones inside the thorax of the person you were dating or had married to find the real stuff driving them. To be sure, we are organisms, meaning changing and evolving (which in this context doesn't necessarily mean evolving upward into better, more mature) but might mean the opposite: the "stuff" is driving that person to lean on what? Other men? Other women? Other things to imbibe to dim the cyclones?

Here is where good, old-fashioned reality needs to be located and held. Reality is real. Truth is truth. Your life and lifetime is limited. What needs to be done is to see how things really are and take some kind of step, use courage but "courage" backed up by the real, real.

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